31 weeks and counting...

On Thursday we hit 31 weeks...which means as of today I've been in the hospital for 23 days AND we are half way to our ultimate goal of 34 weeks.  Somehow time is passing by...though slowly.  My doctor told me the other day he honestly didn't think I would make it more than a week...and here we are.  Which in turn has made him very optimistic about making it all the way to 34 weeks.  That's our "cut off" because he feels that the baby then has a greater risk of infection inside the womb than outside.  I had a visit from a NICU nurse last night and she said the growth and maturity of the baby that happens in just a few weeks is staggering so the fact that we've made it this far is very exciting.  Not to say that complications couldn't arise but she gets further and further away from a lot of risks that she would have had had she been born at 28 weeks.

I feel very encouraged because one of the things they have constantly monitored is my temperature.  They've said from day one if it starts to rise that would indicate infection and we would maybe have to deliver.  Sunday night my temperature started to rise and fluctuated for the next couple of days.  It never rose above 100 degrees but they did do extra tests and ultrasounds and while I felt like crap this little baby just kept on like nothing had changed.  When my fever left I had a queasy stomach and no appetite but again she wasn't phased.  I feel much better now and have wrapped my brain a little bit more around the fact that this girl must be determined to make it to 34 weeks no matter what comes her way.  As of yesterday she weighed about 4 pounds and is measuring in the 60th percentile.  Hospital food has done her good.

So what do I do with myself all day long in the hospital?  In the morning when I wake up I usually order my breakfast, then a nurse hooks me up to the monitor to see baby's heart beat for an hour, and I get to take a shower (thank goodness...it makes me feel so much more human).  Every other morning I get a wheel chair ride down one floor to have an ultrasound.  They measure my fluid level and try to see her practice breathing and few other things.  Sometimes she's very cooperative and other days she's not.  Darran usually comes over and we have lunch together.  Then I spend the rest of my afternoon doing my Christmas shopping online, reading, knitting, listening to Christmas music, watching Ellen, visiting, and napping.  Oh, massage therapy comes every once in awhile...I love them and wish they would stay longer!  Sometimes Darran and the girls bring me dinner or they just come over and visit when they finish their dinner.  Then we visit for awhile before they head home for bed.  They love to watch movies, play on the kindle, check out any new treats I've received, and give me wheel chair rides.  It's always hard to say good bye but they have been such troopers through this.  After they leave I'm hooked up again to the monitor for an hour and then usually call it a night.  Some nights require a little late night TV to help me fall asleep.  My nurses take my vitals every few hours...some are better than others at leaving me along through the night.  The worst is a 4:30 am visit from the lab to draw blood...though that's only happened twice, they tend to come more around 6:00 am...even though I'm here ALL day.

Now that I read over what I just wrote I realize I am anything but exciting right now!  I continue to appreciate the visitors that come by and the many texts, phone calls, and emails I receive.  It's a strange thing to be here knowing it's the right place to be.  But also wanting so badly to go back to my mom/wife role and live that crazy life.  How come we always want what we can't have but don't realize how great it is until it's not there?  I'm often reminded of how fortunate we really are when I hear nurses talking in the hall or watch the news.  I will never disagree that we haven't been blessed through this but it sure doesn't make it any easier on my heart to know what I'm missing outside my hospital room.  Especially with it being the month of December.  We have a lot of traditions and fun things we do with our families but those things just have to be scratched off my agenda.  Good thing it's a guarantee December will come around every year!